We're Hers!

While Jia and Stacy enjoyed the first playground Jia's seen for a few days, Troy and I walked into Saloni's baby room and I spied her right away, sitting on the floor with some colorful rings in her hand.



She was the tiny one, with a pixie face. I sat down next to her and spoke Hindi/English tickling the bottom of her feet. She stared at me. The social worker/psychologist- Smita - encouraged me to pick her up. So I picked up and marveled at my tiny baby. Honestly, I don't remember if she cried - I think she was still quiet. In only a few minutes we walked her down the stairs to Jia's delighted and sweet greeting. She ran up, gently wrapped her arms around her, gave her a kiss on the hair, and said "Okay, let's go now in the car." Unlike China adoptions though, we were encouraged to stay the day, get to know and have lunch wiith some of the staff, take her through her routine with the other babies, and let her get to know us in her own environment. It felt so much healthier and less traumatizing. So we explained this to Jia, and she insisted she wanted to hold her.

We went to a low wall, so Jia could be sitting, and while walking over there I realized Saloni was grasping onto me for dear life. When I put her into Jia's lap, the wails of sorrow began. Big crocodile tears. I quickly took her back, and Jia wide-eyed, handed her back. But now the mourning had begun. Jia declared that she wanted her other mommy. It didn't seem like a good time to carry on a discussion of birth mommies with Jia, so I just said I was her mommy. Since she would not stop crying, I tried to hand her off to Troy to see if he might be fascinating and soothing to her, but she would have none of it. Instead, when I took her back she stopped crying for a minute--aha!--only to resume again with her tiny but loud voice. Finally I got up and walked around with her, which quieted her and she just stared at us wide eyed, fascinated by her big sister's pranks on the slides, merry-go-round,and trampoline. By this time, her age group of babies and aunties had come down too - so she could be in my arms comfortably with her familiar care gives and babies near her. Eventually the trauma of the whole thing exhausted her and she fell into a deep sleep. I handed her tiny frame over to Troy and he carried and studied his new daughter.

We were eventually directed to take her back to her room and put her down for her nap. When Troy laid her down, boy did she turn around and frown at him. This girl can frown! With her face alone you know she's not happy. She refused to go back to sleep. Looking back, we realize at that point she had decided we were hers. Smita got her up again, handed her to me and she quietly clung on with all she had. Eventually we fed her lunch with the other babies.

She ate slowly and not nearly as much as the other babies in her room. A repeat performance of feeding her later in the day warned me that I may be spending the next months of my life slowly feeding and coaxing high calorie food down her little body, until she has some healthy baby fat rolls.

After lunch they gave us some time alone with her in a guest room. We were all exhausted - having woken up at 4 am, and wiped out from the days of travel and today's emotion. She was only happy next to me or with me holding her. Jia tried to play with her a little bit with the toys we brought but she didn't interact much. She watched Troy and Stacy out of the corner of her eyes. Finally, unable to keep our heads off the pillow, I held her on my chest as she sucked her thumb and absorbed her new mommy's smell, feel, and sound.

So that we could have lunch with the staff, they took her for her nap - she was not happy to be handed off to an Auntie, whimpering as she was taken. Sadly, I could not think of much to ask or say to the staff - my mind was pre-occupied, though I know they were instrumental in helping to raise her the first year of her life. Luckily Jia was in fine spirits and regaled them all with her talking, and gave them a good idea of who Saloni had for a big sister. And again, they let us go back to the guest room to rest - Jia was asleep in 5 minutes! Stacy stayed with her (we are SO HAPPY we brought Stacy with us!!!), and we were able to go meet the Foster Mom that Saloni lived with from 2 months to 6 months old. Again, not much to say but happy to see her. She didn't have any insights on Saloni, as she was "too young - babies don't do much then." Anyway, we thanked her for her care of our baby during those young months, took some pictures, and she was off.

Finally we woke Jia up for the departing ceremony, and they brought in Saloni. She hadn't slept a wink. She grasped on hard to me again, and fell asleep promptly. We were hers! All the staff were amazed at how she just nuzzeled into me. So was I! Your prayers are powerful - that's all I have to say!

We finally headed back to our hotel. For the next several hours, she would not tolerate being moved even slightly away from me to readjust, and I certainly could not put her down. She was not interested in playing or anything else, just being close. So, again I laid her on my chest and rested. She happily sucked her thumb, eyes open, absorbing. We could hear Jia's delighted squeals from the pool below, where Stacy was keeping her entertained.

Troy and I eventually got all of us changed into swimsuits and headed down to the pool. She was fascinated by everyone, but not at all interested in having more than the tips of her feet in the water. And then she seemed to wake up.

When we brought her back to our room, she sat on the floor and happily played with all of her toys with Jia. And Jia was delighted to get to play with her. We saw her crawl a little, and she even made her first sounds outside of crying. She was going to be okay!

But were we exhausted! I hardly made it through our ordered-in dinner, and sent Troy off to the store to buy more baby food and dish soap. By the time he was back, Saloni was in bed with me (I found out that they don't have cribs at this hotel), screaming bloody murder. Uh-oh, now what? She finally quieted when I cradled her close and sang. She must have just been exhausted, because when I finally laid her down with her drooping eyes she slept from 8 pm to 6 am! And we ALL slept! Ahh-thank you God!